Cactus

Cactus (1900? - October 2019) was a Mexican Cactus, a friend of PinkDowlg and a member of PinkDowlg’s Inner Circle.

He grew in Mexico around 1900 and, in 1920, met the Lumbaegan residents who had recently left Lumbaego in the 1920 Exodus to Mexico. The residents who had left Lumbaego were Violet Chilli, Felipe, Juan, Red Chilli, Yellow Chilli, Avocado, Orange Chilli and Purple Chilli. Their exact reason for leaving Lumbaego and moving to Mexico is unknown, but it is believed to be simply a wish to travel and explore the world. Shortly after the Lumbaegan residents arrived in Mexico, they met Cactus and shortly thereafter, Taco. The Lumbaegan Fruit had traveled several hundred miles from Lumbaego, utilising the wind to carry them, as most of them did not have powered flight. When they arrived, they found themselves in an arid area of Mexico, which they were not used to, as Lumbaego is primarily tropical. The group proceeded through their new home, until, they came across Cactus, who introduced himself to them. They explained to him their situation and he offered to join them and guide them through Mexico, they gladly accepted his request, so Cactus joined the group of Lumbaegan Fruit and assisted them of their journey through Mexico. Within a few months, the group also came across Taco, another Mexican resident, who also joined the group. Following Taco’s assimilation, the group, led by him and Cactus moved around Mexico, usually in more rural areas and avoiding larger cities. Occasionally, the Lumbaegan Fruit, considered returning to Lumbaego, but they came to the conclusion that Mexico was now their home and they would prefer to stay there. The Lumbaegan-Mexican group continued to journey around Mexico for 98 years, until August 2018, when PinkDowlg (a fellow former resident of Lumbaego) met them on his holiday. PinkDowlg had come to Mexico for the specific purpose of finding his friends who had left Lumbaego and, using his intuitive powers, was able to find them in a matter of days. The Lumbaegan-Mexican group, as they had spent many years in rural Mexico, were not aware of recent news happenings, so were unaware that PinkDowlg had become world leader in May 2018. When he informed them of this, they congratulated him and were pleased to accept his request of joining his inner circle and assisting him in ruling the world. The Lumbaegan-Mexican group, including Cactus, joined PinkDowlg on the remainder of his holiday and eventually returned to England with him in October 2018. After they arrived, PinkDowlg became the executive leader and the Lumbaegan-Mexican group, including Cactus, assisted him in ruling the Earth. For the next 4 months, the world was reasonably peaceful and stable, but in February 2019 the First PinkDowlg Civil War broke out, after the recently resurrected John C. Star had declared war on PinkDowlg after he accused PinkDowlg of being a tyrannical leader. The First PinkDowlg Civil War lasted for around two weeks, until John C. Star surrendered on the condition that he was made Vice-President (PD), the third most important office in the world, after Supreme Leader, PinkDowlg and President (PD), Adolf Hitler. PinkDowlg agreed to this condition, so the First PinkDowlg Civil War ended. Cactus did his best to assist PinkDowlg in the First PinkDowlg Civil War, but he was unable to do much, as he had essentially no experience or knowledge of war. A month later, in March 2019, Cactus also attempted to assist PinkDowlg in winning the Second PinkDowlg Civil War, which had been started after John C. Star declared war on PinkDowlg and attempted to seize world leadership for himself. Again, Cactus’s contributions were not particularly noticeable on the overall war effort and he was overshadowed by Felipe, Juan and Red Chilli, who were much more instrumental in PinkDowlg’s efforts and eventual victory in the Second PinkDowlg Civil War. On the 23rd August 2019, PinkDowlg officially declared his victory in the Second PinkDowlg Civil War, after defeating his final enemies, The Mice-of-War. Following the defeat of his enemies, PinkDowlg sentenced all of their leaders, generals and scientists to be tortured to death in the PinkDowlg Tortue Arena. He had already had them imprisoned in a maximum security prison, so had them taken before him in the PinkDowlg Torture Arena, where he directed, or in some cases, personally carried out, their torture. As Cactus was a member of PinkDowlg’s Inner Circle, he was given a front-row seat at the PinkDowlg Torture Arena, so he could observe the torture without any obstructions. Cactus watched as each enemy was dragged into the arena and tortured in PinkDowlg’s chosen manner, often something personally relating to that individual and after the conclusion of the torture, congratulated PinkDowlg in his victory and his harsh punishments for those who fought against him, especially John C. Star, who was later stuffed and mounted in PinkDowlg’s Palace. Following the torture of PinkDowlg’s enemies, Cactus continued to support him as world leader until PinkDowlg’s Deposition on the 5th September 2019, which saw PinkDowlg being exiled to a distant planet by Matilda (Mrs Ineffable Magnificence). Following PinkDowlg’s exile, the members of PinkDowlg’s Inner Circle left England and returned to Lumbaego. They remained in Lumbaego for around 6 weeks, until October 2019 when they left in order to attempt the October 2019 Pro-PinkDowlg coup d'état, an attempted coup which sought to remove then world leader Adolf Hitler from power and return PinkDowlg to power. The Geheime Staatspolizei, Adolf Hitler’s secret police, discovered the plans for the coup, due to their sophisticated surveillance and arrested all of the conspirators, including Cactus. Despite Cactus and other members of PinkDowlg’s Inner Circle assisting PinkDowlg with the torture of his enemies, including Hitler,Adolf Hitler decided not to torture them and instead sentenced them to a quick execution by gunshot. It is believed he did so after they argued for mercy, claiming their loyalty to PinkDowlg was a positive attribute and Hitler himself valued loyalty. Hitler accepted their argument, but still had them executed as he stated they were a danger to his reign and may have posed further threats to him if not killed. For this reason, Cactus was executed by gunshot in October 2019, alongside his fellow members of PinkDowlg’s Inner Circle. Despite PinkDowlg being briefly resurrected on several occasions, Cactus has not yet been resurrected. It is expected that Cactus would be resurrected if PinkDowlg were ever to return to power for a significant amount of time.