Simba

Simba (7th October 1990 - 18th February 2020) was a Pridelandian lion who was a vegan activist and the leader of Simba’s Pride.

Simba was born in Pride Rock, the capital of the Pridelands on the 7th October 1990 as the son of Mufasa and Sarabi. As he was a descendant of the King of the Pridelands, Moyo, he was born a a member of the Pridelands Royal Family entitled to the rank of Prince. Simba resided in Pride Rock with over 7500 of his relatives for most of his life, before splitting off to form his own pride of 3500 lions in September 2019. The successful films, The Lion King, The Lion King II and The Lion King 1 and a Half and the television series The Lion Guard were fictional and highly altered portrayals of the life of Simba and the other Lions of Priderock, in which Simba and some of his close family members acted in, in most cases playing themselves, apart from when a cub was required. They were based on the life of Simba and the other Lions of Priderock and have brought much fame to the Pridelands however they have also led to numerous mistakes regarding the true nature of the Lions of Priderock, including that Simba was ever king, that traditionally prey animals accept the lions as their monarchs and that Simba’s uncle, Taka was the enemy of his brother and nephew, Mufasa and Simba, respectively. The Lion King films also act as propaganda films justifying the murder and consumption of traditionally prey animals as “the Circle of Life”. This concept is extremely unpopular with traditionally prey animals (despite the films’ claim that they accept it) who believe it to be a propaganda tool and often state how no traditionally prey animal would bow to a lion.

From about 1998 to about 2016, the Lions of Priderock undertook the policy of Expansion of the Pridelands, which involved the Lions of Priderock conquering the territories of other lions and other animals, including the Outlands, the Southen Pride, the Northern Pride, the Western Pride, the Eastern Pride, the Badlander Pride, the Thunderlands, the Thamani Pride, the River Pride, Kifo's Pride, Mwisho’s Pride, Jion Sefu’s Pride, The Pride of Darknes, Mwezi Mlima Pride, the Valley Pride, the Nyeusi Pride, the Wasteland Pride, Cosette’s Pride, the Night Pride, the Sun Pride, and the Cheetah Kingdom, the last of which they conquered in 2016. The cheetahs of the Cheetah Kingdom attempted to resist their conquest and fought against the invading Lions of Priderock, which led to the Lion-Cheetah War, which was a decisive victory for the lions, who killed all of the cheetahs of the Cheetah Kingdom except from three.

The Lions of Priderocks’ daily lives remained relatively unchanged for many years, until the reign of world leader John C. Star, which began in 2014. At first their relationship was friendly, with John C. Star using the Lions as a method of executing his enemies, including letting them rip Tarquin’s head off in a game designed to torture him. Despite the Lions of Priderock’s early cooperation with John C. Star, their relationship becamehostile after John C. Star banned the consumption of meat in 2016. Despite providing suitable alternatives, for hunting as well as the meat itself, the Lions of Priderock were not satisfied and continued consuming and killing animals. This resulted in John C. Star restraining and killing the Lions of Priderock, including Simba, which made him extremely popular with traditionally prey animals.

Simba and the other Lions of Priderock were resurrected around the 21st August 2019 by PinkDowlg to assist him in defeating groups of John C. Star supporting antelopes, zebras and giraffes. Simba and the other Lions of Priderock were tasked with causing the collapse of the antelopes,zebras and giraffes’ society, by killing several members of the societies as well as kidnapping their leaders. The kidnapping of The Antelope and Zebra Leaders was very easy as Simba and the other Lions of Priderock were quick to be informed of their location by members of their societies who were captured and threatened with death and their residences were only defended by four guards who were easily overpowered by Simba and the other Lions of Priderock. However the Giraffe Simba and the other Lions of Priderock captured to interrogate about the whereabouts of the Giraffe Leader, was armed and shot and killed the lion who was interrogating him, however the lions eventually overpowered him and discovered the location of The Giraffe Leader. They then resurrected the deceased lion after asking for PinkDowlg’s assistance. The Lions of Priderock then attacked the residence of the Giraffe Leader, thus beginning the First Lion-Giraffe Battle, with constituted a complex battle plan involving 850 lions, however all but four were killed with no giraffes dying during the onslaught of lions. This was due to all 200 giraffes being heavily armed, compared to the lions fighting with their teeth and claws.

Following their decisive defeat in the First Lion-Giraffe Battle, Simba and the other Lions of Priderock requested that PinkDowlg resurrect the deceased lions, which he did. After the resurrection, all 6669 lions attacked the giraffes, thus beginning the Second Lion-Giraffe Battle, which saw the giraffes easily defeated as their ammunition supplies had been exhausted. The Giraffe Leader was then kidnapped and the imprisoned at Priderock with the Zebra and Antelope leaders. The antelopes, zebras and giraffes requested that John C. Star send reinforcements, which he did, despite his armed forces being stretched, as he believed he could not risk losing the support of the prey animals. Therefore he sent 20,000 troops to fight Simba and the other Lions of Priderock, however, in response, PinkDowlg sent 100,000 troops and armed the Lions, eventually defeating John C. Star’s Armed Forces. The defeat was also partly due to the lack of John C. Star’s resurrection machines, which was mostly due to The Mice-of-War destroying them after turning against John C. Star, their former ally. After the Second PinkDowlg Civil War had ended, the leaders of the Zebras and Antelopes and Giraffes were transferred to the PinkDowlg Enemy Prison.

Following the end of the Second PinkDowlg Civil War, Simba and some of the other Lions of Priderock served as prison guards in the PinkDowlg Enemy Prison. Simba and the other lions frequently humiliated the prisoners, such as by eating fish in front of the marine animals and painting pictures designed to cause distress and offence to Muslim prisoners, such as a painting on a torn-out page of the Koran of Allah, Mohammed, Jesus and a pig engaging in sexual intercourse, which they stuck to the walls of Muslim prisoners’ cells.

Following PinkDowlg’s victory in the Second PinkDowlg Civil War, he declared the 23rd August 2019 as PinkDowlg Victory Day and announced that on the following day, his enemies would be tortured to death in the PinkDowlg Torture Arena. Simba as well as around thirty other Lions of Priderock were selected to be the torturers and tortured to death several of PinkDowlg’s enemies and ate several others, including John C. Star, the Giraffe Leader, the Antelope Leader and the Zebra Leader. Simba and the other lions may have also tortured or eaten some of PinkDowlg’s other enemies, including Adolf Hitler, Henry the Haddock, Anna Medusa, Sadam Hussein a, Muammar Gadaffi  ,Donald Trump a,Osama Bin Laden, James (car frog), James (boat frog), The Boss, Einstein (penguin), the other members of The Blades, the Gang of Octopodes and the scientists and generals of John C. Star and his allies. Simba may have also taken part in the torture of the August Penguin Gang in the days following the Torture of PinkDowlg’s Enemies. Simba enjoyed eating the Victory Dinner, a meal consisting of cloned parts of PinkDowlg’s enemies who were tortured to death in the PinkDowlg Torture Arena.

PinkDowlg was deposed on the 5th September 2019 and was temporarily succeeded by Matilda (Mrs Ineffable Magnificence) and the 2019 Citizens’ Assemblies before the September 2019 World Leadership Election chose the next permanent world leader, Adolf Hitler, who became world leader on the 16th September 2019. Due to Adolf Hitler ordering that no citizen should eat another citizen and that all citizens must be vegan, Simba alongside all the other Lions of Priderock, were forced to become vegan. Despite initially hating his forced veganism, just as his father, Mufasa and most of the other Lions of Priderock did, Simba soon became a committed vegan and named Snappy and Veganus as his role models. Despite temporarily reverting back to his previous way of thinking, Simba became a famous vegan activist and enjoyed eating turnips and other vegetables. This caused Simba and Mufasa to cease contact as Mufasa could not accept having a willingly vegan son. Following Mufasa’s rejection of Simba, Simba’s started his own pride, which around 3500 lions joined, those mostly being younger members of the Lions of Priderock. A similar number of the Lions of Priderock remained in their original pride, which had been renamed to Mufasa’s Pride as Mufasa had become its leader. The lions of Mufasa’s Pride, who tended to be older members of the Lions of Priderock, were originally reluctant vegans, but once again became meat-eaters, due to their deep hatred of veganism and love of hunting. This caused Adolf Hitler to have them put to death in Autumn 2019. Simba and his pride were unaffected by the execution of Mufasa’s Pride and Simba continued to be a vegan and a vegan activist. In February 2020, Adolf Hitler banned the consumption of vegetables and all other plants except fruit and wheat as new studies had shown that vegetables may be more intelligent and conscious than previously thought. This revelation caused many vegans, including Simba and his pride, to become extremely distressed which led to the Mass Vegan Suicide, an event where many vegans committed suicide following the advice of Veganus, a crocodile who was the the god of the Vegan Crocodile Religion and one of the leading activists of global veganism. Veganus herself committed suicide, as did Snappy and many other vegans including Simba and his pride. Simba led his pride into the desert, where they died within the next day or two or due to overheating or dehydration. Some animals asked Adolf Hitler if the vegans, including Simba, would be resurrected, to which he answered they would not be, explaining his decision by highlighting that resurrection was not mandatory and that the vegans expressed a strong desire not to be resurrected and that resurrecting them would cause great distress and that they would likely commit suicide again. Due to Adolf Hitler’s reasoning, the disinterest in resurrecting the vegans by subsequent world leaders and the lack of living animals who would want to resurrect Simba or his pride, it is likely that Simba will not be resurrected in the immediate future.